i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
