i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
