we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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