And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
