If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
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