my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Randomize
