You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
It's blow job season.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
