So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
