Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
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