Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
