ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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