Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
