So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
