think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
