Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
