Fine. I'll sleep in my office
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
