I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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