So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Randomize
