White coat. Heels.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
