Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
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