I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
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