i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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