I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
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