I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
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