But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
