Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
