you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
