remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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