I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize
