We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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