Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
