We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
