who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
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maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize