i was born a porn star she said
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Randomize
