sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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