so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
