We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
