So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
