ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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