I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I DEMAND FORESKIN
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
