Taylor Swift is so right about you.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
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