No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize
