yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Randomize
