He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
So apparently I’m into choking now
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
