Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
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