TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
