ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
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