Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
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