I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Alive.
So much puke
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
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