I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Randomize