We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
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