He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Operation Purity has been aborted
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Randomize
