in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
whose ass print is on the piano?
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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