why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
I am spending my child support on dildos
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize
