ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
