the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
