I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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