Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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