found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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