He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize