woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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