went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
The air taste purple.
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